2 more days to our supposedly 3rd month anniversary
i really don't know what i'm thinking about this few days
it seems like i'm starting to harbor hope for you again
based on what, i have no idea!
i should have gave you up already
seriously
but instead, i've been messaging you more and more often recently
thinking of you more and more
what was i expecting? you to still have feelings for me?
i should have known right, nothing is left for me
you might already have a new girl in your life.
the one that you went for dinner with
jaime macthierman
i might be over sensitive, she might just be a normal friend
but your comment just now just made me break down
Haroy 于溮
Evil Jaime. Lol. 2 more yr your turn.
i don't know why, to others it might be just another comment but it just feels very different to me, she don't seem like just a friend to you, more like someone you're interested in.
who knows she may be the new girl in your life
but so what even if that's the case i can't do anything
i don't have the rights to be jealous or stop you or what
there's nothing i can do
you're not mine anymore, haroy soh no longer belongs to cherie lim.
and that's full stop. final.
you have all the rights to find a new girl to take my place
but why do my heart still hurt so much?
it's been 29days since our breakup
it seems like it's really quite some time since we're both single
but why can't i get over yet?
this is like the longest time i took to heal from a heartache
and i don't know how long more i need to reach the stage where i won't be sad whenever i think of you.
我不是你想象中的那么勇敢
i'm still very easily affected by every little thing you do
it could make my mind run wild
i'm like going crazy man! having constant mood swing
one minute i can be very happy but the next minute i thought of you again i'll be damn sad
sometimes i feel very bad when i'm out with my friends
like i'm always the mood spoiler
i really don't want it to happen but i can't help it.
baby, i really miss that joker side of you.
forever making me laugh, forever so cute
maybe that is why that little comment affected me that much
that used to be how you talk to me a month ago
but now your attitude seems so cold
it hurts everytime i message you
however i'm like an idiot, even though i know i shouldn't do this it'll hurt me if i text you
but i just can't imagine myself not in contact with you anymore
so i rather hurt myself then to lose contact with you.
i really don't know what to do now
i can't imagine seeing you holding another girl's hand
i can't imagine you attached to another person
there's so many things that i know i should do
so many facts that i know
but i don't know how to convince my heart to do what i know
i can't bring myself to take out our photo from my wallet yet
everytime i open my wallet to take a card i'll see our smiling faces, how 幸福 we used to be
my sisters kept asking me to take it out
it's time to change already
but i really don't bear to do that
i already lose our ring
the ring that symbolizes our love, our relationship
although these are very superficial things but to me they are very significant things
they are like a form of assurance to me.
if i were to take out the photo it seriously marks the end to our connection
which i really don't want that to happen
the day i take the photo out will be the day i really gave you up and move on.
if all these did not happen, i would have been happily thinking of what to do on wednesday
what to wear on that day
where to go
busy designing and writing my card
preparing surprises
but all these won't happen anymore
there won't be a day for me to look forward to every month now
this thought really saddens me
i really had enough of washing my face with tears because of you my dear
what spell did you cast on me?
that made me fell so deeply in love with you
so much so that i find it so difficult to not have you by my side.
i know it's tough on you now because of that two wisdom tooth.
do you know how much i want to go to your house now to take care of you
to help you change your cotton bud every now and then
do whatever i can to make you feel better
but i don't get the chance to do that anymore
the one person's concern that you want should not be me anymore.
tonight's gonna be a long torturous night again.
tomorrow night i'm going to stay over at hanhan's house
so i guess it would be much better
can't wait for that to happen
alright, i shall stop here
feel much better after crying my heart out and writing everything i feel.
i miss you baby
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