tomorrow i'm going to the photoshoot alone again.
actually i said i'm getting more and more independent, it's true.
but seriously i don't want to, neither do i like it.
i really hate to travel alone!
to do things alone!
to have no one beside me when i have something to say.
be it good news or bad.
if this is how it feels to be independent, i rather not be!
i wanna be dependant on my friends.
i'm starting to hate my life.
why is it becoming like this?
i hate the fact that i only have a few really good friends that i can ask for companion.
and the fact that they are always not free.
i understand it's not their fault, i'm not like the queen or what.
but sometimes i really wonder, what am i doing now.
am i really that bad? why am i always the one that ask ppl out?
am i really that insignificant?
sometimes it hurts to care about someone more then that person does.
why do i always needed them more then they needed me?
i really regretted for not studying hard last year!
if not things would not have ended up like this.
everyday, i see my sisters going to schools, having trainings, project work, studying for exams or test.
and me? i'm looking for jobs, practising sec 4's mathes again.
i feel very inferior.
i feel that life's getting very meaningless.
there's no aim in my life anymore.
i wake up everyday having nothing to look forward to, nothing for me to do.
i'm sorry to vent all my unhappiness here.
i just don't feel like bottling up anymore.
i guess it's been in my heart for a long time.
No comments:
Post a Comment