I remembered just 2 post ago, i was saying to mark the start of me blogging again
i shall post a happy news which was the start of our relationship.
who knows, just the third post i'm going to blog about the end of our relationship.
i didn't expect myself to take it so hard
i thought i'll be able to cope with it
i didn't feel any pain when i saw your sms, saying that you've decided to stay in church and to let me go, until the point when you talked to me in msn
did i realised the changes, the difference now
the way you talk to me,
the name that i'm calling you,
the one that send me morning sms,
the one that talked to me everynight,
the one that gave me tissue when i'm crying,
the one that i look for everyday,
the one that held my hand,
the one that hugged me when i needed warmth,
the one that kissed me softly,
the one that looked me in the eye and tell me that you loved me,
the one that i loved so much,
is no longer mine, no more
no matter how unwilling i am to let you go,
i know i have to
you've already made your decision and i respect that
you gave me the choice but i let you go.
remember you asked me if i were to be alittle bit more selfish will i make the same decision
truthfully, no i will not
but it doesn't matter anymore
you made me clear of something, promises are meant to be broken
words are meant to be said for fun
nothing is forever
initially, i was seriously heart broken, when i called you last night everything that you said pierced through my heart
my heart bled while my tears run dry
every single word just further proved that what you told me in the past are just a pack of lies
how much i wanted to believe that you truely meant what you've said and that you
really didn't want this to happen
but when you told me you are over the state of sadness
and that even if i asked you to leave church you would not do so
i seriously don't know how to trust you again
so much so for the love you had for me
why did things have to turn out this way?
after hours of thinking crying my heart out,
i decided that i've done all i can and that i'm not going to cry for you anymore
you said that you don't want me to say such things to you anymore
but what's the meaning of asking someone else to take over what was once your job
calling me in the morning to ask me to go to school
asking others about me, checking if i'm alright
caring about me when i can't do so
when i heard that you done this for me, how am i supposed to let go?
everything just happened too quickly,
it's not like we don't love each other anymore, it's not that one of us did something wrong to end up in this state
but now, i can only accept this cold hard truth that it's over.
goodbye my babyboy
so long my luckless romance
can't believe what i feel is real
feelings that's hard to conceal
i would hold you in my arms if you were mine forevermore
you and i, i never thought i'd fall for you
the best thing underneath the twinkling stars
my heart desires to be close to you
so you can take my hand and embrace me now
minimizing all my fears and i knowthat all my doubts will disappear
there's nothing to conceal
it's real
it hurts, but it'll heal one day
ps: i love you
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