baby, what's the use of saying sorry when it doesn't help
sorry is not what i wanna hear
how i wish there's such a pill in the world that could make me forget everything
so that there won't be so much pain
so that i would not have to cry my eyes out everynight
why is the world so cruel
why does things have to turn out this way
today i thought i'm alright, i feel okay today
maybe we talked yesterday night and i made everything easier for us both
but when we are at the popular today
i realised how wrong i was
everything was fake
i'm lying to myself this whole time, i actually lied to myself that nothing changed
in my mind, we are still together, you are still mine
maybe that's how i made myself feel better in a way
pretending that nothing happened
we are still happily together
But the moment that you let me hand go and walk away, i was awake
that was when i realised i was dreaming
i looked up and saw this book title saying ' when everything has changed '
it feels like every little thing out there is reminding me the fact that we have broken up
there's no chance that we can get back together again
and i hate that
why am i in the real world, i don't want this
why can't there be a fairytale where i can go to, where it's free of sadness and pain
i've never felt this way before, i've never cried so hard for a person
it hurts more then the physical pain when mummy canes me
but at least i can put medicine to let it heal
but what about this?
can somebody give me some pain killer or anesthesia
so that it won't hurt so much
let it numb, i don't wanna feel anything
everyday there would be so many people coming to ask if i'm alright
i would smile and say i'm alright don't worry
but i'm not
i wanted so much to shout out that I'M NOT OKAY!
but so what if i'm not, who can help me?
nobody.
so what's the use of asking when there's nothing you can do
i'm not blaming anyone, sorry but i'm just upset
i just want to vent all my emotions
i'm tired, so tired of all these
i'm tired of spending all my time alone, without you by my side
i don't want anybody else
we still have this one last date
one last day of going out as a couple
to finish all the things that we've yet done
after today when you tell me that we can never be together again even without the status
all my hopes were dashed
now i understand what's the meaning of the higher you hope, the greater the disappointment
i learnt my lesson, i cannot have any hope anymore
so that i won't get disappointed no more
i know it would be even more tough for me to get over you after this last date.
but i know if i don't go, i'll regret it more then anything else
just let the pain come then
let's see how much pain i can take before i finally break down.
i really don't understand how you get used to it so quickly
when everything happened so sudden
why so i feel like i am the only one suffering
that i'm the one that is holding you back from being happy
i want you to be happy
but it's so difficult to put on a brave front in front of you
i wonder how long will it take to fully heal my heart
it's especially difficult to handle at night when i'm alone
when i'm in school, i can't cry, i cannot let my classmates see me this way
when i'm at home, i can't let my family see me cry, i don't want them to be worried
but when i'm at home when my mind is not occupied with anything, the wave of sadness comes more frequent, and it's very tough to cry and not let them see.
many times, my mum or sisters would come in when i'm crying then i'll have to turn away immediately and pretend that i'm alright
why do i have to face all this
is there a place where i can let go of all my emotions and not have to care about anything?
i guess this would be the place where i'll pour my sorrows everyday
i'm all worned out now
gotta find something else to occupy myself
to you: i'll be alright, don't worry
ps: i love you
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