30th july
our supposedly happy 3rd month haroy soh
well this day started off in a good way i guess, somehow
when i just woke up this afternoon i saw your message
i'm super shocked when i saw it
1 new message
haroy starhub
1.38pm
the moment i saw it i'm totally awake
i don't remember smsing you
after reading your message, i really don't know how to think
it's like a mixture of feelings
really happy that you actually bothered to clarify and explain to me.
but on the other hand it means you read my blog already
i really didn't expect you to do that
which means you knew everything that i feel inside
how am i supposed to reply your message now
i've been thinking the whole day
i really want to reply you badly
but i just can't think of the perfect reply
what should i reply?
should i act blur like huh?
or should i say oh you read my blog, sorry i mistaken you.
i don't dare! i seriously don't dare to reply you!!
what if the wrong reply make you pissed off and push you further away from me again?
i didn't ignore you on purpose my dear
you know i'll never do that to you
because you taught me 将心比心
if i were you, after sending that message to you, i would definitely hope that you'll reply
although i don't know if you're waiting for my reply
like the way i think you will if i were you
but i doubt so.
yesterday i met a weird person under my block
he's really very scary kept talking to me
those kind like not in the right mind
he seriously freak me out when we took the lift together
at that moment i thought of you
if only you were here with me
i know everything would be fine, you will definitely protect me, keep me safe.
i wanted to call you but i know you won't answer my calls anymore.
even if i really called and you answered
i don't think i'll dare to tell you, if i were to hear that cold voice of yours at that moment i'll definitely break down
with that thought in mind, i put down the phone.
baby, i really dread this day
everytime i see the date today, it just makes me feel very sad
i went swimming with hanhan today
in the past if you know that i went swimming you should be very glad
i went to exercise! haha
and after swimming i would report to you immediately, feeling proud of myself!
and if it's today, i believe the person swimming with me would not be hanhan
it should be you instead.
remember we were talking about going swimming together one day?
we have not done that
and we'll never get to do that now
there's so many things that we have yet done together.
but i'll never get the chance to do it anymore
today is supposedly a day worth celebrating for
but from now on it's such a torture to even think about the date.
all the hurt happened on this date
30/05 is the first time
followed by 30/06
now one more month had pass, yet it's no better.
baby i think this 30th is a bad day to get together!
maybe we should have waited like one more day make it the 31st instead
hahaha
today's blog is not exactly that sad
because at least i have one message that seriously made my day
i kept reading that message every now and then today
the thought that you actually bothered to explain things to me really made me smile(:
thank you baby
seriously, thank you for doing that!
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