killing me softly with his songs

it's been sometime since i blog again.

that's a good thing though

it means that this few days i'm alright

but today i'm back to blog again

thanks to shane lim, thanks to her constant reminder of how lonely it is to be alone

kept boasting to me how 幸福 she is with her abe tan

how i don't have someone to love me anymore

how i don't have someone to ask me to be careful when it's raining anymore

how i don't have a boyfriend to cook 爱心早餐 for me anymore

how it sucks to not have the person you love beside you anymore.

although i know she's just kidding, she mean no harm

but it really sets me thinking again

making me miss you again

thinking about our past

though it's only 2 months

remember that time when you cooked fried rice for me for the first time

and you actually cut your finger

it bled so much, make me so 心痛

and on the first day of school when you came and fetch me at woodlands back to your house

it started raining when we reach sembawang and both of us have no umbrella

so you cover me with my cardigan and we ran to your house haha

at that moment i really feel very blissed

i bet you don't know

but now it won't happen anymore

i'm all by myself now

no one to do that to me anymore

no one to protect me anymore

no one for me to love anymore

it's been 36days already, one month and 6days.

i know it's long over between us, i told myself to give up already since one week after our breakup.

i tried, i really tried to do it.

but everytime i see those things that we've done together before or things that you like

it just brings back all those sweet memories which make it so hard to let you go.

it's been 3 weeks since i last saw you

until saturday when i see you at work

you look so different already

you cut your hair again

and you seems like your lost weight, is it because of your wisdom tooth?

i keep having the urge to talk to you at work but i don't have the guts to do it

actually i know i should have gave up long ago and move on

candy always ask me the same question everytime she sees me.

candy would ask, so how you and him? patch back yet?

and everytime i would answer her the same thing as well

how i wish i could have a different answer too

but what else does she expect?

i always tell her nope, no chance de la, it's already been so long, we won't get back together anymore.

then she'll say, it's only one month how you know no chance already?

like what you want me to do?

but everytime i hear that i would somehow feel hope again

stop giving me false hope!

i know it's over it's over it's over!

i'm already trying so hard to get used to this fact now

don't give me anymore hope

baby your sudden message that day did the same thing.

i realised that message really set a great impact on me

but after the short text message conversation after work that day

i think alot and i made up my mind

i cannot text you anymore

i cannot contact you anymore

i really have to refrain from talking to you already

no matter how much i want to.

if not i'll never get out of this pain

although i really don't bear to lose contact with you

but i really cannot continue like that

i will still have to move on with my life

but no matter what you'll still live in my memories

i'll leave with the memories you gave me

i never hated you for leaving me

instead, i'm lucky at least i had you in my life before

and thanks to you, i have so many happy memories

at least i was really happy for that 2 months

thank you baby.

although the people around kept telling me how bastard you are and stuffs

but that's because they never saw the good side of you

they'll never understand how i feel for you

男人的好只有在他身边的那个女人才知道

而我曾经当过你身边的那个女人, 所以我知道.

也只有我明白你的好,你真的是一个好男朋友.

所以你那时说的那个理由根本就是你想太多

你没有不好, 是我没有福气做你身边的那个女人

我真的很爱你

你说我对你太好所以压力,我也只是想对我爱的人好一点

因为失去过所以知道要珍惜

因为不想再失去所以对你加倍的好,却没想到却也因为这个原因让我再次失去你.

但我知道这次已经不像上次那样了, 我们真的结束了.

因为爱你,我会放你走.

再见了我的爱人

再见我的爱

haroy soh yu shi