killing me softly with his songs

recently, my feelings are very mixed up.

i'm feeling very confused, unsure of what i want now

i feel like i've slowly slowly let go of him

like holding sand in my hands

letting go bit by bit through the gaps between my fingers.

this should be a good sign right?

but how come i don't feel happy at all?

able to let go of the pain in my heart

allowing the wounds to heal should be something good

something that can make me smile

but that's not the case

i don't want to lose the feelings i have for him

i want to drown myself in the sorrow of losing him

haha i must be mad to have such thinkings

i don't want

i feel very guilty to be feeling this way, like it's a crime to stop loving you baby.

i really wonder how will things be for us in future?

i find it difficult to be friends with you

i guess you must be feeling this way too.

it's still awkward to talk face to face at work yea?

i can sense you avoiding me all the time

so you should be glad that you won't be seeing me for 2 weeks close to 3 weeks

i don't know why the hell would i accept that lousy job

but i guess i was still hoping that you'll somehow miss me if you don't see me for a period of time

then maybe you'll contact me yourself?

i was hoping for that

silly me

baby you liar, you said we can meet anytime but up till now i think i've asked you twice but you weren't free on both days

so much for your anytime

and i still haven't take a ride in your new car!

i wonder how many girls have already done that

i'm so jealous of your future girlfriend ):

i wonder who will that lucky girl be?